Won't you be my Neighbor?

My brother and I attending our cousins wedding

Has 2 different shoes, will wear them

     To start off and familiarize you with who I am, my name is Christopher Matthew Beigel and I am the older of two boys, born and raised in northeast Baltimore City. My parents divorced when I was young but they remained close and gave us a normal, loving upbringing. My brother’s name is Alex and he is 3 ½ years younger than I am, the difference in age meant that growing up I was old enough to look after him but he was also old enough to do things like play wiffleball and street hockey, and to build skateboard and snowboard ramps with me. Our age difference meant that we never shared a middle or high school, which I considered fortunate as we were able to make our own way socially. Still, we ran amuck all around the neighborhood and no one had to tell us to go outside. No cell phone, no problem.

      

     I attended Catholic school for elementary and high school, with a trip to a Baltimore County middle school thrown in for good measure. My high school was a boys school called Calvert Hall that I resisted being a part of at the time but now look back fondly upon for the foundation they gave me, both educationally and as a young man. As grateful as I am, it was a challenge when my two best friends left the school successively in my sophomore and junior year. One would transfer and the other would pursue a GED, and as close as we were, that closeness that existed at school was harder to maintain without them there. If I could have told myself something then, it would have been, “take note self: this is just a taste of what it’s like to maintain relationships as an adult.”

     

    

Matt Stover showing me his new Super Bowl ring at work

By the time I dabbled in collegiate endeavors half heartedly for 2 years after high school, I felt as though I was ready to enter the workforce. I worked for several years in logistics, managing and ordering the catering alcohol inventory for a private club and event facility located in Baltimore County. After years of working hard, being reliable, and rising as far as I was able to, I recognized that I wasn’t being valued for my intellect the way I thought I should be. I decided to devote myself to furthering my education. I consider myself fortunate because a lot of people have commitments and obstacles that prevents them from returning to school. I resolved to make school my job and have since been focused on the task at hand in a much different way. I’ve had an almost professional approach to my courses that wouldn’t have been possible without my experience in the work world.

      

Sadie is our best good friend

     So that is a very brief overview of me, with a couple other high points worth mentioning. I am fortunate to be getting married this summer to my beautiful fiancé Hannah, and we have an awesome dog named Sadie. At heart, I am a fun loving guy, a jokester who is not afraid to be goofy or say what’s on his mind… I take after my Mom in that I love to cook and am sentimental. I love music and art in many forms, from sculpture to glassblowing, graffiti, and all points in between. I am a die-hard fan for the Baltimore Orioles and Ravens, I always have been and always will be. If you take one look at my Dad and my Grandfather in their team gear you will see, I come by it honestly. Exploring these things and current events are what my blog has to offer, so to quote Fred Rogers, “Won’t you be my neighbor?”

Hannah and I with our parents at brunch in December 2015

Hannah and I at Deep Creek Lake in 2014

Pohler Express - The quick story of me!

            

So it all began back in 1976 when I was the first born child of my biologicals; this would change several times over the course of my life stay tuned for that episode. I was basically hijacked by my grandparents by the time I was 4 and they raised me from then on. I was legally adopted or at least attempted to be adopted at age 9 but it was not completed until I was almost 14 because that would be too easy. My mom (grandmother) had a severe stroke just before I turned 15 and for the next four years I would be her primary caretaker. I attended a vocational high school so I was on the bus by 6:30 for my hour long bus ride and then after school I came home to take care of her and for a short period of time work a part time job as well. I graduated from high school as the senior class president and lived a fairly normal life for about the next year.

 My mom passed away not even a year after she watched me graduate. She had over 80 strokes over the course of those four years. I was quick to identify a stroke and learned how to balance being a teenager and her caretaker pretty well. Some people have asked me if I feel like I was robbed of my teen years etc. but I really don't. She took care of me when nobody else was and I learned from her that we do what we have to do to take care of the people we love. I also learned from her that family is about more than blood, it's about bonds and love. I had a rough two years after mom died. I was trying to figure out where I belonged in my family and in the world.  



 I started my first real job in April of 1997 and that is where my next chapter begins. I began working as a receptionist for a small medical equipment company. I had a really nice boyfriend who I had grown up with and life seemed complete for the time being. Then one day I was sitting at my desk looking out into the parking lot when a grey pickup truck with big tires pulled up. This guy jumps out with his leather jacket and dark hair. He removed his leather jacket and I could see his fresh new tattoo. He then preceded to replace his leather jacket with a uniform jacket for the medical equipment company I worked for. I often say it was the just like in the cheesy romantic comedies. I felt like I had stars in my eyes and found out what love at first sight was like. I broke things off shortly thereafter with my long time friend and current boyfriend so that I could pursue what was sure to be a whirlwind romance. It was just that; by June we were connected at the hip and couldn't be separated. I moved in with him after I was in a car accident and my car was totaled and we were going to work together. It wasn't long before our little family of three (he already had a daughter from a prior marriage, truth be told I fell in love with her first.) became a family of four. Everything was moving so quickly we could barely keep up and enjoy the moments. Before we knew it we were a family of five and we bought a home.

My prince charming had a castle full of little princesses and he was content with everything we had built together. There was just one thing I was missing and that was that we had never gotten married although we had been engaged for quite some time and talked about if for years. 

Then one day just as we had gotten used to the idea that our little girls were all becoming young ladies we were shocked to find out we were once again expanding. Family of five became family of six. With the news of the addition on the way we decided it was just time to make everything official and we got married in a private ceremony.

Shortly after our nuptials we found out that this time we were having a little prince and our kingdom became complete. 

Almost 20 years after I first met him and I still get stars in my eyes. I work two jobs and go to school while he builds a business to support our future and we do it all for our little kingdom. 

"All because two people fell in love"

Striving for Thriving

Before attempting to write this blog post I spent more time than I would like to admit on google. I was scanning through pages of searches that now seem ridiculous such as:

• “cool bloggers”

• “how to sound human blogging”

• “writing stream of consciousness”

Why was starting this thing so hard? I am a human with a consciousness that is constantly streaming. This should be natural and organic, right?

Nope. Not at all.

 After 45 minutes I had not accomplished my goal of sounding cool, or having any interesting or insightful life event to write about that would express me succinctly, but I had found several new recipes and makeup tips from blogs I had stumbled across, so it wasn’t a complete loss. The only thing that feels organic right now is to embrace the struggle and hope that there are others out there who can commiserate with these feelings.

What confuses me in this struggle is that talking and communicating has always come naturally to me. Talking a lot has always come very naturally to me. Every parent teacher conference included the sentiments “She’s a wonderful student, but she just talks too much”. No amount of lecture could change my desire to socialize constantly, but it was just a force that needed to be harnessed for good instead of evil. *Insert obligatory Star Wars reference here.*

It would be this raging sociability that would come to truly define and pave the course for what I wanted to do with my life. I knew before I left high school that I wanted to go into the fields of marketing and advertising in some capacity. I dreamed of that fast paced, interactive, creative, problem solving environment where you can see hard results, and constantly face new challenges and new opportunities. I still dream of that. And my whole life has been working towards achieving that dream.

I went to the University of Maryland for my undergraduate degree in American Studies with a minor in Communication. Only because I get asked very frequently, American Studies as an interdisciplinary field explores everyday cultures, as well as cultural constructions of identity and difference through the fields of critical theory, history, and literature. My love for socialization and people led me to want to learn how to successfully communicate, and how to navigate that communication within a complex social structure.

 I knew that an American Studies degree was probably not going to land me that marketing job of my dreams on its own, so I was aware graduate school was in my future from my freshman year of college.  Fortunately enough, this gave me ample time to work and save up. I have been working as a server since I was 18 years old. I have learned more about communicating succinctly, communicating with different types of people, overcoming communication barriers, and being a professional from working in restaurants more than any "professional" job or internship I have ever had. It is like the fast paced, problem solving, interactive work environment that I dream of, except instead of handling client’s accounts, I am handling people’s burgers. Same thing, right? Sort of. While I have horror stories that would make you cringe, my time in restaurants has been an invaluable gauntlet of training for my future in a professional marketing workforce.

It is the element of competition so present in the restaurant industry that fuels me as well. I love being responsible for myself, and knowing that the amount of effort that I put into my work is directly related to the outcome. It is this same mentality and love of competition that fuels me in the workplace. And, shocker, it’s also a huge element of my favorite hobbies. I play table tennis at least once a week and I’m pretty sure it is one of my favorite things ever (alongside things such as food, beer, and baseball). I have only been playing for a year and a half but everything has fallen second place in my heart to ping pong. My roommates and I also spend quite a bit of time playing board games, Settlers of Catan in particular.

Outdoor Table in Wyman Park= Stomping Ground

I know this bio seems very goal and work oriented in terms of who I am, but my goals and work ethic wouldn't exist without the people whom I love. My Mother and Father have been the greatest and most positive influences that anyone could ever hope for. They taught me what it is to work hard, stay positive, and be a loving and compassionate human. Then there is my boyfriend of 8 years. He keeps me so grounded, and acts as my confidant and sounding board in life.

And last, but not least, there are my two cats, Box and Cali. They don't do too much, but I guess you could call them my moral support, and distraction. They might dramatically impact my productivity levels, but they also dramatically impact my happiness, so I think I'll keep em'. I hope that this has given you all pause for thought, and some paws just because they're so darn cute.

Box helping me accomplish absolutely nothing

Cali helping me accomplish absolutely nothing

A New Place to Live

Nancy Tabor

I’m from Baltimore, Maryland and grew up in a suburban neighborhood with my family. Today, I live in Easton on the Eastern Shore. I recently got married and moved into a new home. My husband has lived here for many years and is well known. Before I moved, I didn’t know much about this historic town.

Some places I really love to go include:

1.     A pizza place, which is somewhat seedy but serves the best pizza in town. It's called Roberto's and all of the cops and sheriffs hang out there because Roberto's brother-in-law is on the force and Roberto doesn't hire convicts.

2.     The Avalon is my favorite place in Easton. It’s a small theatre that presents musical performances. We have seen many good performers there. It’s a throwback to another era.

3.     Captain’s Ketch Seafood is a town favorite for finding the freshest seafood, caught that morning.  American flags are everywhere here, in front of restaurants, businesses, homes; and I was struck by their patriotic signage, which introduces you to their colorful little roadside shack.

While I’m getting myself acclimated to the new life here, I am taking courses at Notre Dame to get a graduate degree in communications. Previously, I had taken a course in project management and photography. I found photography both fun and challenging because there’s always something new to see and explore in town and nearby. I wasn’t so good at the mechanics of the camera, the different settings and accessing my photos. after I saved them but by the end of the course it got a bit easier.

For a birthday gift, my husband gave me a book on a photographer I learned about in class who seemed to be very interesting. I heard her on NPR one day and found the interview to be fascinating. Her name is Sally Mann and she just wrote a memoir about her photographs and her life. I also got as a present a book of her photography and her images are captivating.

I am very thankful that I can take courses online because it gives me a way to interact with other students and the professor. I didn’t know much about blogging before signing up for this online course and its good to be able to learn online and make a new start with a new course. I want very much to do the right thing with this course as I haven't always done so before.

the patio

the patio

Insight to who I am? Well right now, all I can think of is a cigarette smoker – recovering.  I know that sounds horrifically small – but it is what it is for now. Yesterday afternoon, I smoked my last cigarette – so this morning is my first morning without a cigarette in just about 3 years and it sucks! As I began typing this blog, I looked out onto my patio and saw a dirty, wet cigarette butt and it actually made me want one – ewwww, how gross (pause) – that’s not true, I don’t actually think it’s gross – it caused a “stir” in my body, a yearning of sorts – nostalgia.

So rather that focus on the entirety of my life – I want to focus on my life since 2013. My apologies in advance, the task of writing this blog is exceedingly difficult because in this very moment I’m going through nicotine withdrawal – my thoughts are an uncharacteristically scattered and there’s sort of a foggy, shadow lingering in my mind.  My nose is running non-stop, my ears are ringing and I’m having a hard time swallowing due to the thick layer of phlegm coating my throat, what is worse, I just can’t seem to sit still and focus. This is going to be tough – I’m searching for the “right” word – nada! I’m digging for wit, some humor, again, nada! So, I decided to just be transparent, to give you what I got right now – raw.

I married a co-worker. In 2011, some seriously extenuating circumstances (Divine intervention)  led us to work together on an emergency assignment.  Up unitl then, we hadn’t noticed each other even though we were in the same department! Needless to say,  the assignment changed my life forever.  

One fateful night, we were sitting on our patio. He with a beer, myself with a cocktail. For some unknown, sh*tty reason (yes, the reason must have the stench and look of feces) I asked to have one of his cigarettes (I’m still baffled at my utter stupidity).  Right, so a bizarre moment, one in which I totally suspended all rational judgment, I decided that I wanted to try a cigarette. Wild moment, just wild. Why in the world at 39 would I decide to pick up a dangerous, arguably one of the most despicable habit’s on earth? I don’t know, but it went down on my patio.

So what makes me…me? What makes me tick? My passion? You tell me…

I absolutely love going to the driving range, indeed swinging a club and hitting a ball is a great stress reliever for me. The “ping” of the ball as the club makes contact instantly settles any anger I may hold. The moments leading up to the swing, the planting of my feet, you know, getting them just right. Rolling my shoulders, ensuring I’m completely relaxed and loose. Rotating my wrist and head circles. Oh yes, golf is a passion of mine. And you know what really makes it special? The drag of a cigarette, slow…slow, take time and inhale slow and watch the smoke slowly form a cloud around my dry, cracked lips. Slower now, savor the moment.

Indeed, I love golf.

Driving (without traffic) brings me unspeakable joy – as I child, my dad and I drove around aimlessly enjoying the ride, looking out the window and taking in the scenery. Now, I drive as a form of pleasure.  The window being my time machine, I search for buildings that I believe to have a story – old run down buildings surely if those walls could talk, would tell stories. Architectural unique homes, a century old church –and abandoned baseball field – all have stories and I love dreaming about their story, I like to envision of what once was and what will be. And you know what adds to the intensity of my pleasure drive?  The sound of the flickering of a lighter as I light the tip of a “fresh” cigarette. The initial inhale of smoke as my lungs expand to hold the smoke, the tapping of ashes out the car window as I allow my imagination to run wild with what could be.

I love driving.

I can’t think of anything else I spend more time on than reading. I read everything, from the random to the very specific.  That started with my mother.  As I child she would make me read the backs of cereal boxes during breakfast. What started out in childhood has carried on to adulthood. I read everything from billboards to menus – front and back.  You know what makes reading extra special? Sitting outside on a cozy bench on a warm sunny day. The air full of the smell of flowers and freshly cut grass ---- and a newly lit cigarette. Oh the joy of reaching in my pocket for a pack while holds a book in the other. The sweet sound of birds chirping and the sizzling sound of the paper burning as the cigarette get smaller.

Reading is what I desire.

Farmers market, flea markets, hand made gems – oh my! Strolling through an open market – of any kind really – is so much fun to me! I especially like homemade goods and quirky artifacts.  I spend hours on end wandering around open market places, it just never gets old. I ask myself questions about people’s extreme abilities, interests and motivation. I seem to enjoy it more now than during any other time in my life. The sheer appreciation I have while there can only be amplified while smoking a cigarette – what greater reward can there be than that of a swirling of smoke on my tongue as I gaze upon, in many instances, one-of-a-kind artwork, genuine, original expressions of oneself.  Inhale, exhale, inhale, and exhale….

An open markets is paradise.

As I write this, I’m sitting on the patio, thinking about all the things I love to do.

The Power of Courage by Allison Miller

I love the power of words.

I still journal by hand and create many drafts of my business communications with pen and paper as I am a strong believer that sorting through words on paper has a power all its own.

When I was a freshman in high school, my history teacher asked us to read The Red Badge of Courage and write a book report.

I read the book (sorta) but used Cliff Notes to help me gain a better understanding of the themes and metaphors because I was told in the fourth grade that I was hopelessly inept at reading comprehension.

That prognostication still lives with me.

Evidence of the power of words, particularly on the young.

I formulated my own perspective of The Red Badge of Courage by reading other people’s interpretations and crafted my book report.

It was flawless.

A bit too flawless, however, because my teacher asked me if I’d plagiarized another book report.

I was mortified and petrified, earned an 85 (a perfect score of 100 minus 15 points for using Cliff Notes), and made a life-changing discovery.

I learned that I had the ability to read and listen to other’s perspectives and articulate an amalgamation of their thoughts along with my own beautifully.

Although my innate writing ability has enabled me to craft a career doing something I enjoy, I long to develop a voice that is clear, crisp, and concise, as well as a keen understanding of how to use and measure the impact of the Internet and social media in business, public relations, and marketing when it comes to words.

So I practice.

On paper.

Beyond my “day job”, my passion is to share my story of triumph as a domestic abuse “thrivor” – not just survivor - to encourage, inspire, and empower. I am not only compelled to support other “thrivors” but to tell those in the legal and judicial system of the emotional, psychological, and financial vulnerability women face when we take a stand to end the cycle of domestic violence and courageously (that word again) create a new and better life. Learning to craft an impactful message in this endeavor is not only necessary but critical in order for me to become an effective advocate. I know it is my purpose.

I long to be of service to others, particularly women, as I think we have a unique struggle to find our voices and stand in our truth.

I also needed to model this desire to my amazing daughter – the impetus for me reaching within to find the courage to create a new and better life.

And ironically, according to Mark W. Schaefer and Stanford A. Smith, the authors of Born to Blog, that appears to be what blogging is all about.

Schaefer and Smith offer a marvelous approach to finding our authentic voice in the world and the courage to speak it boldly. It mirrors my journey in life and in the boldness required to become an entrepreneur:

• Be comfortable being vulnerable.
• Speak your truth.
• Try - you don't have to know everything to start.

Much like out case study Katie in Born to Blog, we not only owe it to our readers but to the world to be our full authentic selves out loud.

I am hoping that my 50 years on this planet will help others arrive at a place of poise and power much sooner than I did, whether it’s through my writing, my presence, my participation, or my professional footprint.

So perhaps you can take a few of the inspirational words I’ve gathered along to power your own pursuits.

It is our responsibility to fulfill the reason we were born.

The world is waiting on us to fill a place no one else can fill.

It’s not arrogance or demagoguery but our obligation to the Creator.

Somewhere someone is looking for exactly what we have to offer so let’s get to it.

Courageously.