Pohler Opposites

Warm pies cooling on the counter and the evening dinner simmering on the stove, while the days soap operas played in the background. My mother was a little June Cleaver and a little Peg Bundy. She was my only example of what a mother should be and I never needed more until I lost her. Once she was gone and I became a mother myself; I quickly began looking for some guide of "how to parent". It all seemed very textbook except that it never quite worked for me. I was never any good at a scheduled day and proper bedtimes. I let my children show me when they needed to sleep and we often ate on a nonexistent schedule. I spent many moments thinking about all the things I was doing wrong but never considered I was doing anything right. I wanted to be June Cleaver but I felt more like Marge Simpson. I took comfort in the fact that I wasn't Peg Bundy. I had this idea in my head about what family life and parenting was supposed to be and then I had the reality of what it was and that is what I call "Pohler opposites".

There are a ton of books out there about how to parent according to the experts. Some of which do not even have children but they have studied a lot of them. Of course you don't have any desire to read books like that until after you have children and by then you don't have time. Then there are some people who get it, they really get it! Like Sara Given who wrote the book, "Parenting is Easy:You're Probably Just Doing it Wrong".  She reminds us that it is ok to be our own normal and not a textbook example because those are almost unattainable anyway. Sara references the "white couch" a few times and I think any real parent knows what this is referring to. It is the white couch so often pictured in these photos of parents and children (usually a toddler with some item that would cause a mess no matter the couch color) sitting on a pristine white couch and looking quite normal and relaxed. Yeah right! Not in the real world!

My sofa was a hand me down from 11 years ago and has a slipcover that spends more time on the floor than the sofa. I used to care and to some degree still do but the truth is...sitting on that messy sofa covered in laundry that needs to be put away and toys that don't ever get put where they belong is a happy kid. A happy kid that is kind and polite and funny and mine. Yes! Mine! I have managed to raise happy healthy well adjusted children and I didn't follow one how to book. Maybe I should write one but honestly I don't have any idea what I am doing. Each one of them is different and has needed different parenting tactics. I adapt my parenting to the kid I am parenting and to what they need. I know some people look at the way I am with my kids and think, "she is doing this all wrong" but I beg to differ.I don't claim to be perfect but I am good enough. I can't be June or Peg or even my mom because I am not raising their kids I am raising my own. I am proud to be the parent of a dramatic, sensitive athlete, and a creative, original self proclaimed nerd, and a funny video game playing blue eyed charmer. They define me and my parenting style not a book or a list, just them. Long gone are the days of comparing myself to other parents and making myself feel like I am not good enough. I use my children to measure my success.

Upcycling Baltimore

Trash to treasure, broken to beautiful, historic to modern; These are just a few of the ways to describe upcycling. With the creation of Pinterest came an influx of DIY enthusiasts ready to make over the world one project at a time. With a small budget and a little chalk paint ones creativity can go a long way. Here in Baltimore we have several perfect resources for picking out a piece to recreate.

You can start with perusing internet sites like Craigslist or local yard sales and flea markets or you can visit some great little hidden gems like these:

                                                                                          Ryans Relics - With two locations on Belair Road in Fullerton you are sure to find a beautiful piece to give new life or even a small memento that brings back some fond memories. With an ever changing inventory you never know what may be waiting for you at one of their locations.

                                           

K&M Second Chance Furniture - K&M is a true hidden gem; located in Essex on Marlyn Avenue. This small shop has a fast turnover due to their fair prices and personable customer service.They acquire everything from tiki bars to trinkets and everything in between. I have personally gotten quite a few pieces from them for my own projects and I could not be happier with the service and selection and I think my results were pretty good too. 

             

Overstock Baltimore - Overstock is a warehouse filled with upscale hotel and office furniture that still has a lot of life left but has been switched out for newer pieces. If you don't mind looking through the warehouse stock for the best pieces you can find amazing deals on pieces that are ready for use or for a makeover. In addition to the hotel and office furniture they also sell some new pieces and household items that can even be custom ordered if you decide upcycling is not for you.

If you want to make an impact beyond the piece you upcycle then perhaps the following locations would be best fitted for you...

Pigtown - This richly unique town is situated within walking
distance of the Inner Harbor, Camden Yards and Ravens Stadium

Habitat for Humanity - Restore - Habitat for Humanity is taking their charity to new levels by creating a system that brings everything full circle. When renovating homes for deserving families they deconstruct as much as possible to sell the items in their retail stores for profit in order to continue funding the program. They currently have five locations in the Chesapeake region and in addition to selling also take donations to help you "declutter" your space. Each location is filled with pieces that are ready for a new life and you can feel good knowing you contributed to such a great cause.

Sign up now...Click here.

The Loading Dock - Established in 1984 before the Pinterest and DIY crazes; the Loading Dock was ahead of the game. For a small yearly membership fee of just $10 for two members you can get access to a 45,000 square foot warehouse filled with treasures galore! If you want to learn more about some projects they even have free workshops and ideas to help get you started. The Loading Dock was created with the concept of supplying affordable housing materials as well as making an impact on the amount of items that could be saved from the landfills. You can load up on great items and good feelings at The Loading Dock.

Second Chance - Perhaps my least frequented but favorite location, Second Chance Baltimore really gives you an opportunity to take a walk through time. With a 200,000 square foot warehouse (yes you read that correctly) it is almost overwhelming to even walk through. There is truly something for everyone at Second Chance. The best part is what they are able to accomplish with not only the retail location but the services they provide. Second Chance has created a program to not only give furniture and materials a second chance but the people of Baltimore as well. Second Chance uses funds from their sales and services to train and educate people who need a second chance. They provide classroom environments for the program participants to learn needed skills from running common equipment to management and construction skills.

So if you are new to the upcycling trends or an old pro there are a plethora of options out there for finding your perfect piece and there are no limits to what you can do.

Reduce - Reuse - Recycle - Dream - Create 

This house has been built from almost 100% recycled and re-purposed materials. It was the vision of my sister and inspired  by The House of Blues . 

Pohler Express - The quick story of me!

            

So it all began back in 1976 when I was the first born child of my biologicals; this would change several times over the course of my life stay tuned for that episode. I was basically hijacked by my grandparents by the time I was 4 and they raised me from then on. I was legally adopted or at least attempted to be adopted at age 9 but it was not completed until I was almost 14 because that would be too easy. My mom (grandmother) had a severe stroke just before I turned 15 and for the next four years I would be her primary caretaker. I attended a vocational high school so I was on the bus by 6:30 for my hour long bus ride and then after school I came home to take care of her and for a short period of time work a part time job as well. I graduated from high school as the senior class president and lived a fairly normal life for about the next year.

 My mom passed away not even a year after she watched me graduate. She had over 80 strokes over the course of those four years. I was quick to identify a stroke and learned how to balance being a teenager and her caretaker pretty well. Some people have asked me if I feel like I was robbed of my teen years etc. but I really don't. She took care of me when nobody else was and I learned from her that we do what we have to do to take care of the people we love. I also learned from her that family is about more than blood, it's about bonds and love. I had a rough two years after mom died. I was trying to figure out where I belonged in my family and in the world.  



 I started my first real job in April of 1997 and that is where my next chapter begins. I began working as a receptionist for a small medical equipment company. I had a really nice boyfriend who I had grown up with and life seemed complete for the time being. Then one day I was sitting at my desk looking out into the parking lot when a grey pickup truck with big tires pulled up. This guy jumps out with his leather jacket and dark hair. He removed his leather jacket and I could see his fresh new tattoo. He then preceded to replace his leather jacket with a uniform jacket for the medical equipment company I worked for. I often say it was the just like in the cheesy romantic comedies. I felt like I had stars in my eyes and found out what love at first sight was like. I broke things off shortly thereafter with my long time friend and current boyfriend so that I could pursue what was sure to be a whirlwind romance. It was just that; by June we were connected at the hip and couldn't be separated. I moved in with him after I was in a car accident and my car was totaled and we were going to work together. It wasn't long before our little family of three (he already had a daughter from a prior marriage, truth be told I fell in love with her first.) became a family of four. Everything was moving so quickly we could barely keep up and enjoy the moments. Before we knew it we were a family of five and we bought a home.

My prince charming had a castle full of little princesses and he was content with everything we had built together. There was just one thing I was missing and that was that we had never gotten married although we had been engaged for quite some time and talked about if for years. 

Then one day just as we had gotten used to the idea that our little girls were all becoming young ladies we were shocked to find out we were once again expanding. Family of five became family of six. With the news of the addition on the way we decided it was just time to make everything official and we got married in a private ceremony.

Shortly after our nuptials we found out that this time we were having a little prince and our kingdom became complete. 

Almost 20 years after I first met him and I still get stars in my eyes. I work two jobs and go to school while he builds a business to support our future and we do it all for our little kingdom. 

"All because two people fell in love"