10 Things I learned in BFB this semester

10 Things I learned in BFB this Winterim

               I was struggling whether to curate a list of technical things I’ve learned about blogging or whether to make a list of miscellaneous bits of information that I’ve picked up from peoples blogs throughout the semester. In the ever present pursuit of balance, I will do some of both. All work and no play would make Chris a very dull boy after all. So without further ado, heeeeeere's the list!

1. Blogging takes time and effort. No one has ever sat down without some thought and time spent and produced a good blog. Pictures, videos, gifs, and meme’s as well as the sidebar, layout, font, and format take almost as long as the content itself.

2. Choosing your angle, knowing your voice, and keeping true to your tone and persona are as important as sense of humor, witty quips, and charming anecdotes are. Understand your skills and your interests and allow your blog to grow from there. Publishing based on your strengths either as a storyteller, curator, teacher, or persuader sets up a natural, organic progression that is usually reflected in the quality of your content and ultimately your following. If you’re not passionate, you’re on the short road to failure in blogging. 

3. Negative Comments will happen.  In our book Born to Blog, Schaefer and Smith say negative comments should be regarded as gifts. If legitimate, you may be able to take action to correct/apologize/make right without having an uncontrolled public flow of negative information. Most of the time they just want to be acknowledged but sometimes they hate you just because they want to… To quote Taylor Swift, “Haters Gone Hate.” 

4. Post with frequency, be regular and be consistent. Like achieving excellence in anything, it takes a regular commitment. Blogs that are monthly or (god forbid) quarterly are doomed because their infrequency allows them to be out of mind. The rare exception being if you have a large following and write only a few “megaposts.” Most successful blogs post are fairly regular, be it daily or once or twice a week. Search engine optimization will begin to happen with regular posting as well as furthering the brand awareness and connection with your customers. Your blog is the best, most direct expression of your brand. 

5. Relate don’t compare. People out there in the blogosphere have bigger followings than you do, have been around longer than you have, have amassed more credentials, and have garnered more awards than you for a reason. It would serve any relative new or novice blogger to remember this and to respect other peoples’ works, perspectives, and seniority. Focus on finding your unique stance and your voice and then relate it to other posts without comparing. Finding a lesson or a similarity in their posts and relating on a parallel plane with a certain amount of deference is a good way to avoid stepping on toes. 

6. If I could have a www.TheOriginalScrapbox.com in some fashion or form in every room of my house, I would live a MUCH more organized existence. (Thanks Denise!) 

7. Being a guy with a wedding coming up in June, www.TheManRegistry.com is my new best friend. I had no idea there was a place that listed all the things about a wedding from a guys perspective that I should know but don’t. (A HUGE thank you is owed to Tessa!)

8. Being a dude that loves a good deal and a general collector/gatherer of things and resources, I strongly believe in reusing, recycling, and upcycling things. I was really excited to learn of both The Loading Dock and Second Chance. I have lived here in Baltimore my whole life, and am no stranger to hunting deals at Goodwill's and Salvation Army’s, so this is a welcome addition to the list of adventures to be. (Thanks Jen!)

9. I learned how far reaching the influence of a prolific artist such as David Bowie could be. To see people who thought they’d never encountered him come around to the realization that at various points in their lives they had crossed paths with him revealed how ubiquitous he really was. (Thanks to All!)

10. I also got a chance to reminisce and reflect warmly on growing up in the 1990’s. I saw some of the things I thought I couldn’t live without, and turns out, I’m doing just fine without my super-Nintendo, my cassette tapes, or my AOL screenname. (Thanks Jamie, TGIF comes on in 2 days!)

     Overall, this winter semester has been a great experience learning about delivering compelling content that is unique and true to your voice and personality. Learning how to sharpen that with good tone and a consistent voice has definitely made me a better blogger. Knowing about search engine optimization, metrics and analytics, as well as plugins and functionality will undoubtedly go a long way for all of us in the future.  I wish all of you well and very happy blogging!

Stay Warm out there my friends!

Pohler Opposites

Warm pies cooling on the counter and the evening dinner simmering on the stove, while the days soap operas played in the background. My mother was a little June Cleaver and a little Peg Bundy. She was my only example of what a mother should be and I never needed more until I lost her. Once she was gone and I became a mother myself; I quickly began looking for some guide of "how to parent". It all seemed very textbook except that it never quite worked for me. I was never any good at a scheduled day and proper bedtimes. I let my children show me when they needed to sleep and we often ate on a nonexistent schedule. I spent many moments thinking about all the things I was doing wrong but never considered I was doing anything right. I wanted to be June Cleaver but I felt more like Marge Simpson. I took comfort in the fact that I wasn't Peg Bundy. I had this idea in my head about what family life and parenting was supposed to be and then I had the reality of what it was and that is what I call "Pohler opposites".

There are a ton of books out there about how to parent according to the experts. Some of which do not even have children but they have studied a lot of them. Of course you don't have any desire to read books like that until after you have children and by then you don't have time. Then there are some people who get it, they really get it! Like Sara Given who wrote the book, "Parenting is Easy:You're Probably Just Doing it Wrong".  She reminds us that it is ok to be our own normal and not a textbook example because those are almost unattainable anyway. Sara references the "white couch" a few times and I think any real parent knows what this is referring to. It is the white couch so often pictured in these photos of parents and children (usually a toddler with some item that would cause a mess no matter the couch color) sitting on a pristine white couch and looking quite normal and relaxed. Yeah right! Not in the real world!

My sofa was a hand me down from 11 years ago and has a slipcover that spends more time on the floor than the sofa. I used to care and to some degree still do but the truth is...sitting on that messy sofa covered in laundry that needs to be put away and toys that don't ever get put where they belong is a happy kid. A happy kid that is kind and polite and funny and mine. Yes! Mine! I have managed to raise happy healthy well adjusted children and I didn't follow one how to book. Maybe I should write one but honestly I don't have any idea what I am doing. Each one of them is different and has needed different parenting tactics. I adapt my parenting to the kid I am parenting and to what they need. I know some people look at the way I am with my kids and think, "she is doing this all wrong" but I beg to differ.I don't claim to be perfect but I am good enough. I can't be June or Peg or even my mom because I am not raising their kids I am raising my own. I am proud to be the parent of a dramatic, sensitive athlete, and a creative, original self proclaimed nerd, and a funny video game playing blue eyed charmer. They define me and my parenting style not a book or a list, just them. Long gone are the days of comparing myself to other parents and making myself feel like I am not good enough. I use my children to measure my success.

Geeks In The Kitchen

Since I was a little kid, there was a saying I kept hearing over and over again. “A way to a person’s heart is through their stomach.” At first, I never believed it until I recognized 3 things, One I love my family and friends, two I am a fluffy person, and three even if I am not the one doing the work in the kitchen, I am still the food tester, aka the one who double checks if it is good. Jokes aside, I grew up loving food, whether eating it, cooking for others or myself, and I even watch people cook on tv. Ironically, it is a great motivator for me to watch the Food Network and Travel Channel’s cooking shows while on a treadmill, if I can’t eat it, might as well see someone else enjoy it. But, as I have said before in previous blog posts, there is another love in my life, also known as video games and other fandoms whether animated or murder mystery like Bones.  

So allow me to ask you now, if you found out that two of your favorite things combined to create something magnificent, Would You Be Able To Handle It?

Batman, and 3 robins including Dick Grayson

I literally had to be told to calm down and breathe when I found out that some YouTubers have started hosting fandom-cooking shows. I have multiple debates over if some of these recipes could be reproduced or if they existed, would they be as delicious as they appear. If anything, most recipes I have seen so far I love and try to cook as well, especially around new season premieres. 

Thus, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Nerdy Nummies, the Show and now cookbook, started by the young YouTuber Rosanna Pasino. Not only is she a New York Times Best Selling Author, but she also comes up with insanely unique recipes to either recreate foods from different fandoms or fandom inspired recipes. Not to mention she hasn't let any of her new fame in the community change her as an individual. If anything she now uses her channel to show new sides to other YouTubers who she invites to the kitchen, some I would have never imagined in a kitchen, or in the case of smosh, I imagined the need of a fire extinguisher. She is very warm to her followers and shares parts of her life with them which in a way creates a really nice reaction and confidence which also makes you want to try her cooking as well. She even takes request and challenges. If you don't believe me, check out her channel or her recap of just 2015.

Another Youtube channel, which is not too famous quite yet but is slowly getting more attention is Feast of Fiction. Along with his humorous introductions to each video, he has been creating recipes based on  fandoms as well, and he also does his research on some of these. An example of this is his recipe based of The Legend of Korra's famous Water Tribe Noodles, since it is no secret that the different region in the fictitious world is partially based off our own, he tried to pinpoint where the noodles could have probably originated from. He varyies from well known to not so well known shows/ fandom recipes and also takes request.  One of his most recent videos was in tribute for the newest addition to the Starwars movie, The Force Awakens. Like most fans, a major change we all noticed when being reintroduced to Princess Leia, now a General in the resistance, is that she no longer has her iconic buns. Thus, a new cinnamon bun recipe. 

If anything, the general curiosity of "if it would taste good" or "how it will taste if created" is a question that I think we all think of at least once in a while when watching a show. To me, these are two of my favorite people to follow when it comes to food while geeking out. So now I ask, what would you recreate in the kitchen?

S.Oliva

Just Another Part of the Hardy Party

From oldest to youngest

Growing up in a big family actually sucks….said no one ever. Lies, I am sure someone somewhere hated their experience growing up in a big family but not this girl. Sure, there were times where you could swear we were in a WWE match up but there were also times where we had an entire kickball team made up entirely of siblings. Overall, there were so many more pros to growing up in a big family than there were cons and I am excited to share with you what growing up in a big family taught me.

There is so much I learned from growing up in a big family and I wouldn't trade those experiences for the world. I learned what it means to share, to lead, to follow, to be open, social, outgoing, and what it means to also be independent. Although I always had someone to depend on my siblings taught me what it meant to be independent, not just another Hardy in the world, my siblings made me ready for the world.

18 Struggles I Would Never Take Back

My siblings taught me how to work for the things I want in life. Life isn't easy growing up in a big family, it is full of hand me downs and at times living in your siblings shadows. But, in the end those moments are totally worth it. Because I never grew up with the ability to receive hand outs (not knocking those who have) I learned early on what it meant to work hard for the things I want in this life and I developed a fierce appreciation for the things I was able to acquire.

My siblings taught me how to be a leader. At times you are constantly living in your siblings shadows. "Hardy, are you so and  so? YES, yes I am." You learn to torch your own paths while learning from your sibling's footsteps. More importantly my siblings taught me how to be a team player. Growing up in a large family you learn very quickly what it means to compromise. Things don't/can't always go your way and every person has a unique skill to bring to the table. My siblings taught me how to embrace skills from others and encourage their leadership outside of my own.

All six of us have very different personalities and learning to adjust to each personality taught us life lessons we will forever appreciate. You encounter so many different types of people in the world and sometimes that is a hard adjustment to make. Growing up with a mini melting pot of my own taught me how to be open, social, welcoming, and accepting of the differences each person brought to the table. I can't preach enough on how this skill helped me with my first two absolutely evil college roommates.

The Sibling Effects We All Know To Be True

My siblings taught me what it means to be vulnerable yet strong. I can't imagine the issues my parent's dealt with on a daily basis growing up. They had six very different personalities each bringing their own drama and looking back there were a lot of times where we had to deal with our own issues. Our parents were very good at picking their battles, they knew when to step in and when to let us learn on our own. From the times they stepped back they taught us how to work out our problems with each other developing crucial communication skills, and they taught us how to be strong even when we felt our worlds were "falling apart".

Oddly, my siblings taught me how to be okay alone. Growing up with a lot of siblings you often times struggle to find yourself in alone time. Nothing is ever quiet, and you are never alone. Growing up I never knew what it meant to appreciate the silence and although I fully appreciate the noise I now understand the beauty that is moments of silence. This oddly also increased a drive for me to move far away on my own. I adore my siblings but growing up without the experience of ever being alone increased a drive for me to embark on adventures where I found myself the most vulnerable and I love that they taught me that.

And one of the most important lessons my siblings taught me was to never give up. One of the best things about being on the younger end of the sibling spectrum is that I got to learn from my siblings mistakes and their successes. I have loved nothing more than watching them continuously pursue and succeed at their dreams. The road hasn't been easy for any of us but watching them spring forth with resilience has taught me the true definition of never give up.

There are so many other things my siblings taught me and these are just a few. From never falling short of having someone to play with to growing older and having someone to laugh with my siblings taught me overall that growing up in a big family is hands down the best thing ever.

Why Sleep?

                    There are a few things that most if not all humans need to live on to the next day. Two necessities that come to mind are sleeping and eating. I personally am a much bigger fan of sleep than I am food, but that's just me. When I think about sleep, I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea that so much goes on, while we aren't even awake. Our bodies are steadily at work while we are sleeping. Hence why sleeping is very important. But, not just sleeping in itself. I say this because sleeping too much can be nearly as unhealthy as sleeping too little.
                     After a few years of just merely being interested in the concept of sleep it self, I've looked into how people fall asleep, the stages of sleep, what happens once we fall asleep, and also what causes us to wake up. All that among other thoughts like, why it's so difficult to go to sleep sometimes and why in other situations sleeping seems almost involuntary. It mostly has to do with what happens while your awake. Let me explain this a bit further.
                     Let's say you go to a concert to see your favorite band, then after wards you go to get some ice cream on the way home. Once you're around the corner from your house you hit a bunny, but you keep going. You finally get home to see that there was no blood on the car so it was like it never happened. You shrug before going to unlock the front door. You notice something is missing, your house keys. After recalling that you brother had changed the door knob cause the other was faulty you remember that you had left the new keys on the kitchen counter. You look into the window to see the keys on the counter mocking you. Then you reach for your phone to call your brother. Of course he doesn't answer. You try and call him again, your phone dies.

                       Rather unfortunate situation I know, but not to worry, your best friend drove past your house cause you left your new concert t-shirt in her bag and she lives close by. You sleep over her house till morning and you charge your phone there finally getting in contact with your brother in the morning. But when you wake up, you thank your best friend and you tell her over breakfast about the dream you had once you fell asleep at her house. 

                       "There was this huge crowd and everyone was excited and happy, we were on stage and our band was called the 'Raging Bunnies' weird name I know. Then at the end of the concert we gave everyone free ice cream and out of no where comes this gigantic bunny. It stomps through the ice cream dispensers and picks me up like King Kong did the blonde lady, or was she brunette? Any way the bunny picks me up and right before I think this is where my life ends, the bunny throws me into this floating cage, locks me in and jingles the keys in my face.... then I wake up."

                        If someone were to take a closer look into the situation, most likely that person would notice the correlation between what happened in real life, versus the dream the person had after the event. Obviously the person felt guilt after hitting the bunny and felt like karma had paid them a visit with the whole locked out situation. The setting of the dream may have merely been because those were the last book mark type events that took place right before the person went to sleep. 

                     

                       
                         Believe it or not, that's how most dreams work. Your brain takes the ideas and thoughts and memories that resonated with you most through out that day, and jumbles it all up into an endearing story line for you to drift through as you sleep. Understandably some people just see or remember static when they wake up, but usually there is something that happened in your sleep before that moment that may have just faded away.

                           There are various phases or stages of sleep. There's the message your mind sends to your body, that you do indeed require rest. You start to feel a bit heavier, you attention span shortens and you start decided whether you will submit to this feeling or fight against it. If you accept the drowsy feeling that is now overwhelming your body, stage two begins. You fall into a stable sleep and your body start to produce chemicals that will help you be able to stay that way for a bit. By stage three you body has fallen into a deep sleep which is only a fraction of the night. Hopefully, if you continue to go undisturbed, you are able to reach a state of REM sleep. The best sleep in my opinion. This for me, is when the fun begins. Your brain activity is high and intense, hence the dreaming that tends to happen.

                             Sleeping is such a cool concept to me, one of the main reasons being that we do indeed tend to dream. That in itself is amazing to me because some dreams are very telling. There is even a concept called lucid dreaming, where, usually with practice, you are able to control the elements of your dream. Where it's the color of the couch the whether or to prevent yourself from going over a cliff, lucid dreaming to me is by far the greatest thing since sliced bread.

                             As fun and exciting all this sounds, as I said before there is such a thing as sleeping too much. Sleeping to much or even just staying in bed to much, restricts your body from being able to access many parts of the brain that are usually only activated when you are in motion or partaking in certain activities. Which another reason why when people fall into comas or pass out, doctors get very concerned. As I mentioned a bit earlier a lot of what goes down when you're sleep, is because of what happened when you were up. What is important is a restful sleep, not particularly a long one.

                            But on the flip side, it isn't to healthy to go without sleep either. Sleep deprivation can cause some serious issues, that are sometimes irreversible. Which is also why sleep is important.

                            

                              Have you ever noticed that when someone close to you get sleepy sometimes they tend to act a little different? May be they are just a bit more snappy than usual, or not as patent as they usually are. Sort of similar to when a person get hangry, a word that means, hungry and angry. Well, I believe that some people tend to get slangry as well. Sleepy and angry. If you notice someone you care for getting this way, it is usually because they are ignoring the signals shooting between their brain and their body that is messaging and alerting them that they should be sleeping soon. 

                             

                              There are some people who may actually want to get to sleep, but can't because they may be suffering from anxiety or a restless mind. Typically if someone is in this situation, it is not strange to see them try and gain some assistance if they are unable to fall asleep naturally on their own. 

By this, I mean sleeping pills, or sleeping medication. 

Some people even go for the booze to calm their nerves to help them sleep. Just like every other thing on the planet, there are dangers to using theses aids to help you fall asleep. 

Alcohol tends to effect the deepness of REM sleep, which as I said before, is the best part. You don't want to mess with REM sleep.

                             All this to say that there is a healthy balance between over sleeping and sleep deprivation. Sad to say, but I am guilty of it too, some people sleep to get away from the lives that they return to when they wake up. Doing this too often may cause concern for the loved ones around you. Over sleeping is a sign of depression, but generally, I just love to sleep. Dreaming, lucid dreaming is really fun. But as I mentioned before it's really best once you've been awake for some time. This is a balance each person has to configure for themselves. All to often people are found up in the early am for no particular reason, and others sleep till the late after noon. 

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                           In order to achieve the best sleep, try to wake up and lay down around the same time each night. In this way, your body will become accustomed to the rhythm you have created, ad you will be more likely to have a restful sleep and will be able to awake refreshed. Try to turn off all the things that cause your brain to be hyper, like screens and loud noises. Taking into mind some of these small changes will make a big difference in your sleeping pattern.                          

More info on Sleep Deprivation
More info on Sleep Depression

Achieving A Better Life (Joe Young)

As I’m sure most of you know by now, I have a soft spot for disabled individuals. I have mentioned this in at least two of my previous posts so I apologize if I’m starting to sound like a broken record. However, if you give me just a little bit more of your time I promise it’ll be quick and painless, and you may even learn something.

The topic of this post is going to be the creation of the Achieving a Better Life Experience (ABLE) Act, and the benefits that it will bring to the developmentally disabled community. This Act is truly something to be celebrated, as it will ease some of the financial strains that many disabled people and their families undergo.

WHAT:

The ABLE Act was made an official law on December 19, 2014. The law allows disabled citizens to open a tax-free savings account, which allows them to save money for “qualified disability expenses.” 

Some of these expenses include:

• Education
• Housing
• Transportation
• Assistive technology
• Personal support services
• Healthcare

 

WHY:

A question you might be asking yourself is, “What is the need for these accounts?” I know first hand that many families with disabled relatives rely heavily on public benefits due to the financial weight of these expenses. However, in order for one to be eligible for public benefits (SSI, Medicaid) they must first be rendered poor! (I may sound like I am over reacting, but I assure you, I am not.)

One of the major drawbacks of these benefits is that the individual receiving the benefits cannot accrue more than $2,000 in savings, retirement funds, or any other form of revenue. Let’s take a minute to think about that…

These disabled people who, more often than not are not able to provide for themselves, are denied basic rights if they receive or make more than $2,000 at any time. You don’t have to be a bleeding heart to see the issue with that…

WHO:

There aren’t many limitations to those who can apply for an ABLE account. The only regulation is that the individual applying for the account must have had their disability diagnosed before the age of 26. The individual may or may not receive public benefits; it does not affect their eligibility.

Parents with developmentally disabled children are also able to open an account for their children, as long as the same prerequisites are met.

Where/When:

As of December 2015, no state is offering ABLE accounts as many of them are still in the process of developing a program. Some states may have their programs running this year, but most are anticipated for 2017.

Individuals or their families will be able to apply for an account online.

Other Options:

There are other courses of action that a disabled person or his or her family may take in order to secure their finances. A Special Needs Trust (SNT) would be another option for people with special needs. However, an ABLE account is much more cost effective to establish, and the beneficiary of the account has more control over his or her finances than that of a SNT.

Emotional Stability:

The information that I have just laid out should be enough to convince you that the ABLE Act will have a positive impact on the disabled community. However, if the financial benefits are not enough to sway your opinion, then think about the weight that will be lifted off so many people’s shoulders when they know that they can financially prepare themselves, or their loved ones, for the future.

I saw an example of this when one of my clients came into work one day and told me about the passing of the ABLE Act. I had never heard of the ABLE Act before, and asked him to fill me in. He proceeded to tell me most of what I just told you. The difference, however, was the excitement on his face when he told me what the passing of this law meant to him. I couldn’t possibly imagine a better example of why the ABLE Act is a monumental achievement.

Oh Baby!

America sucks! Last year my best friend Jessica had postpartum depression. When she told me I was at a lost. I was shock and I didn’t know what to say, however I did what any best friend would do…I listened. She explained to me that she was sad all the time, and felt a shame for leaving her daughter in the hands of a childcare provider. She experience this great bond with her baby, and just twelve weeks later she had to return to work due to finances.

Postpartum depression occurs after a baby is born. Mothers experience mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, depression etc. This can proceed weeks or even months post pregnancy. Post partum depression is a serious illness and should be treated right away.

After hearing what Jessica witnessed, this encouraged me to see what my job offered employees for maternity leave.  It just so happen I ran into a co-worker who was pregnant. She explained to me that she could not take any vacations because she had to use the entire time of her PTO (paid time off) for maternity leave. I thought employees were given twelve weeks of maternity leave with job security. I didn’t know employees had to make sure they had the time in order to go on leave.

Why do we have to go through this? Citizens work hard in this country. Don’t they think we deserve to spend more time with our newborn? It makes me sick to my stomach when I see people returning to work shortly after delivering a baby. I think this country needs to be a little more caring when it comes to this issue.

I would love to experience my baby growing during their first year of life. From the Huffington Post there is a list categorized by countries, of the weeks they provide for maternity leave. The United States gives 12 weeks with only job security. There is no national program, and cash benefit varies state by state. Did you know other countries help with childcare assistance in addition to job security? France allows 16 weeks, but the government allows a family allowance until the child turns 20. Imagine that!

Finland government give mothers a maturity care package that provides the necessity pregnant moms need. On top of that, they give their citizens public childcare up until the child turns seven. If a parent opts out of the childcare program, they will receive paid leave the first three years of their child’s life. It boggles my mind that America thinks it’s easy to pop out a baby and go back to work as if a life-changing event didn’t happen.

Let’s take a look at what other countries do shall we?

Iceland gives mothers and fathers three months for maturity leave, which can be taken by either parent. Awesome Sauce! That’s a total of nine months. Iceland citizens also receive 80 percent of their wages, so parents are not struggling to meet basic needs.

Switzerland gives 14 weeks of maternity leave and pay 80 percent of wages.

 

Germany gives 14 weeks of maternity leave and pay 100 percent of wages. I wouldn’t mind taking that!

Canada gives 17-52 weeks of paid leave, wages are 55 percent for the first 17 weeks and the rest of the wages depends on province.

Get this! Latvia gives 112 days of maternity leave with 100 percent of wages.

Italy gives 5 months of maternity with 80 percent of wages. Woo hoo!

The list goes on and on, but I am sure you get the point.

 

The first year of my newborn, I don’t want to feel guilty to leave them because I have to go back to work. There have been a lot of political debates about maternity leave, and I am curious to see what happens once the next president is in office. For now I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best! Do you think America should give more time for maternity and paternity leave? I know I am not the only one ranting and raving about this issue. What are you thoughts?