Greg Durham- My travel planning

I'm a big believer in travel. It opens up worlds and erases preconceptions better than almost anything I know. It forces people to get outside of their creature comforts and it really taps into what it means to connect with others. I went to a ton of places with with my family when I was younger. Now, I take my wife and kids on trips each and every year.

Maria and Greg Durham

Arianna at beach

Cody at beach

Each year, usually in August, we go somewhere new. Last year, we went to Albania, Montenegro, and Croatia. The year before, it was South Africa. Before that, China. The year before that, Colombia and Panama. Before THAT, Estonia. The year prior to THAT, we went to Serbia. The year before that, it was Greece.

We can play this game going far far back, but you get the picture. 

Actually, the process is more accurately is as follows: each year, I obsess on picking a new spot, hopefully not too popular. Or if it is popular, somewhere that's the antithesis of somewhere easy and close.

 I find out options galore; I scout flights, hotels, B and Bs, activities. I look for getaways within the getaway. I figure out the history, cultural mores, incendiary topics/no-go sore spots in their land, as well as famous people, famous expats, famous contributors from their country. I painstakingly absorb the culture of my attention to where I watch their TV shows, listen to their music...trying to feel what they feel. It doesn't matter that I don't speak their language one bit. There's a higher language at play.

I become a savant about the country that's become the object of my affections. I read their authors or any news I can find about them. If I find someone from the country BEFORE going, I'll chat them up and ask them questions. Not weirdly, mind you- but from a place of genuine curiosity. I eat their food, find out about their faith, study their athletes, look at their political systems.

A quick aside: this isn't anthropology here- I travel BECAUSE I want to see new places and people. If I were in Bangui, in the Central African Republic and someone I've befriended made me gorilla hand as an entree,  then dammit I'm eating the hand. I respect host cultures and very much am aware I am on THEIR turf. I DO NOT try to recreate America after going on a 16 hour flight, I jump in to wherever I'm going. What I do is respectful...to me, what isn't respectful is being the living stereotype of the Ugly 'Merican.

"But you're taking your kids...is it.... safe?"

I'm 6'3" and weigh 260 lbs. No one ever messes with me or us. Besides, we don't party, we're not looking for trouble, and we live respectfully. So no- we don't endanger the kids. We're always fine on our trips- even when our travels take us to meet and hang out at length with complete strangers in different countries for hours or or days. 

What fuels me is the naive faith, tempered by experience, that things will usually work out well when we come from a sincere place!

My wife has a different take. She claims she doesn't like flying. Fair enough. And she has to ultimately agree on the vacations I propose. So my tactic of choice is that I wear her down for our July-August trip by beginning my research in January.

Our plans get modified along the way, of course. The China trip started out as a vacation to Burma, South Africa as Ethiopia, and Albania originally was supposed to be Kazakhstan. I have feeling our potential trip to the DPRK this summer will get adjusted to their southern neighbor, South Korea. So be it.

What's the John Meynard Keynes quote from the 50s? The one where a reporter asked him about why his views and opinions were so, er, flexible? Keynes replied, "When the facts change, I change my opinions. What do you do, sir?" Exactly. 

My obsessive trip-searching can get wiped clean by a change of events, lack of funds, or lack of interest from everyone else. It can suck, but that's how it works sometimes. I go back to the drawing board for a new adventure very often.

A lot of the fun I have with travel comes precisely FROM the research, the scouting, the price shopping. It's the process that makes me want to dig deeper, not imagining the perfect day abroad. In a way, I think my planning is no different than a 10 year-old boy's fascination with trading and collecting baseball cards: the hobby can sometime exceed the "game" itself.